Pass Me the Gravy Boat

Oh man, so much to catch up on. Not updating this blog for two weeks has created pent up content that I don't have the patience to write, and you surely don't have the patience to read. So this will be an eating update, because I love food and it's so easy to write about, and I will update later about running and lifting.

To summarize: In the past two weeks, I've managed to go running six times and do some sort of weight training four times. That's a total of 10 workouts in 14 days. Considering some doubled up, and I needed days off to recover, that's pretty good - a 71 percent workout rating. I feel good, I feel healthy, I feel strong, and I'm sleeping better. This whole exercising thing regularly is pretty rad. And despite the unknown fate of Twinkies, I managed to avoid these puppies...

(I know these aren't real. I want them anyway. Meat sweets. If you read that 

wrong, you read it as meat sweats, which is something I am known 

to experience after eating large quantities of, well...meat.)

All of this vigorous training does, however, have some drawbacks. I cannot stop eating. I'm always hungry and I almost never have healthy foods. To recap the last two weeks, I ate (not including breakfast):

Pizza for nine meals;
Five meals that were just two slices of cheese bread;
Six runzas;
Taco Tuesday twice;
Two Subway sandwiches;
A salad.

My dietary habits read like the 12 Days of Christmas of a stoned college student. But, that's not the worst of the lot. Last Friday night (Nov 9), I ate a normal dinner (garlic cheese bread), then ate a grease-soaked quesadilla at 2 a.m. I wasn't even drunk, I was the DD! If it's there, I can't say no, and I like to keep the local Mom and Pop businesses afloat.

The next night I had pizza for dinner, and got together with old friends to bid adieu to a girl moving to San Francisco. That night, I was drunk, and we continued the celebration at 2 a.m. at Del Taco, where I partied with two shredded beef burritos, a taco, another quesadilla and chili fries. But I'm working out and running! So that totally offsets it.

Sadly, even when I'm working my catering job, I'm no better. I ate a cheese bread dinner and then made my way to the coolest of the cool Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 after parties. I actually was on my feet for about seven hours straight before I got to eat. I did sneak some ceviche and chips, which was a delightful treat to hold me over during my long night. But once I got to eat, it was on. I started with chocolate bread pudding, followed by salmon, cheese bread again, prosciutto, mashed potatoes, and three different types of sugary little desserts.

This proved to be a potentially lethal combination the next day when I evacuated my bowels and the man in the stall next to me hit the deck, pants around his ankles, completely unconscious. I cleared his pockets of all valuables and fanned him until the haze cleared and he started to stir. Then I got the hell out of there.

Point is: These habits aren't good for me, and apparently not good for the people around me either. Such is life. I'm thinking I have to stop writing about the food I eat because it never changes and HOLY SHIT Thanksgiving is right around the corner!

Somebody pass me the gravy boat, I'm about about to clog some arteries.

(This is exactly how large I want this year's gravy boat to be. I want to bathe in it)